The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

IT'S A WRAP......FINALLY!

See what happens when I slave and cook for you people?
Issue 3 front cover


This is the cover image to THE DEPOSIT MAN & THE LAST GREAT GATE OF MORTALITY -ACT III. Story is by me, Pencils and inks by Larry Nadolsky, Oliver Simonsen on book design, lettering, and edits, Masekela Polee provided the water colored and acyrlic cover, and Alan Sinder is the tech guy responsible for previewing these images for you.

And you better have the good sense to appreciate it! All you good little girls and boys will be getting a six page sneak peek under my nightie starting next week.

Brenner Printing informs me that I will have the finished product delivered to me on March 28th and I will be premiering the new book at the Alternative Press Expo taking place April 9 & 10th at the Concourse in San Francisco.

So what's next in the Deposit Man publishing biz? I'll let you know in a few posts.

~

Coat
THE ONE THING I NEED IN THIS LIFETIME

The new Porcupine Tree album Deadwing is being released on 28th March by Warner Music in Europe, and on 19th April by Lava in the US. Recorded between March-October, the album has been mixed in both stereo and 5.1 versions. Once again the 5.1 mix was done in collaboration with Grammy award winning producer Elliot Scheiner.

 Posted by Hello

Image courtesy of porcupine tree offical website a special website dedicated to the new album has been set up with sound clips and making of video can be accessed HERE .

~

Coat

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

C'MON & FREAKIN' DIE ALREADY!!! II

Two drunks walk in on a telethon and one of them says.... Posted by Hello

It couldn't have happen to a nicer bloated red nose guffawing fat fuck (from Imdb.com):

Carson's Sidekick in Hospital


US chat show legend Johnny Carson's beloved sidekick Ed McMahon spent his 82nd birthday in a hospital over the weekend. The TV personality was admitted to hospital in Beverly Hills, California, with mild concussion after falling at his home. Insiders claim he required stitches for a lesion on his head but is otherwise fine and was kept in hospital over the weekend for tests. He is expected to be released from the hospital later this week.

E onLine reports: The former Tonight Show sidekick spent some quality time in a hospital after injuring his head in a spill at his Beverly Hills home and sustaining a mild concussion, according to his publicist.

"Ed tripped and fell in his house in Beverly Hills and gashed his head open," says Susan DuBow. "He received several stitches and sustained a mild concussion."


McMahon took the tumble on Friday. He wound up marking his 82nd birthday Sunday in his hospital bed surrounded by friends and family.

Hey Ed, wishing you a speedy recovery......down fifty flights of stairs you freakin' gin martini guzzling gizzard-necked gargantuan ape with a tiny weenie. AND YO, DON'T FORGET TO TAKE THAT OVER BLOATED FRENCH POODLE IN THE PICTURE WITH YOU! And Ed, when you do finally pass on (hopefully soon) could you give a head's up to that wife smacking ex-boss of yours?

Ed McMahon- all you do is bring pain and suffering to white trash lives. How about us Joes in suburbiaville, huh? Instead of a fuckin' million dollars, all we get is these goddamn meal tickets that turn out nothing to be but magazine subscriptions to Good Hooterkeeping or Rolling Shrews.

Damn- your commericals scared me when I was a kid. Showing up at someone's door and offering the parents a hefty-sized check to see if the kids were for sale or not. AND TO OFFER UP A YEAR'S SUBSCRIPTION TO FUCKING FIELD & STREAM AS TRADE? How low could you go, Ed?

The wages of sin. Oh yeah, Ed - believe me, I was on on to your fucking scam from the get-go. You're on my shit list, pal.

~

Coat
HERE'S SOMETHING YOU CAN'T EAT AT QUIZNO'S

Ahhhh...now that's much better. This is the makings of a great sandwich. Two slices of Denise while Shannon and I can be the meat. Posted by Hello

It gladdens my heart when I see or hear when a Hollywood couple doesn't make it. Last week, Denise Richards did the wise thing to split from Charlie 'blow your load in Heidi Fleiss's black book' Sheen and now it's Shannon Elizabeth turn to say you're 'punk'd' to Joseph Reitman.

Isn't Hollywood love grand? Gals, when things get too complicated or superfluous- there's us normal blue collar joes out here with a shoulder for you to cry on- unless,....you know,...have to keep within your parameters of your fancy-schmancy elitism and simply have to date pockmarked faced actors and greasy jew arab shieks.

I've seen both actresses up close, and they're not all that. Well actually Shannon is nice and sweet- she signed an autograph for me. But Denise...?

Here's a e-mail I sent to my brother out in Nebraska after he was elated to learn that two time Oscar Winning Actress Hilary Swank once lived in Lincoln at a house down the street from him:

My brother: Found out Hillary Swank lived in my wifes house when she lived in Lincoln. 1110 Butler Ave. Hillary was born here.

Me: That's interesting. I moved last year from the house in Sherman Oaks, Ca where the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz died in that I have been in for the past eight years. Yeah, I heard she was from Nebraska.

I saw in the news this morning that chaplipped Charlie Sheen is divorcing Denise Richards. That's the best news I've heard all week - Thing is though- I was seeing Million Dollar Baby at the Sherman Oaks Galleria and I swore I was standing in back of someone at the concession stand who looked like Denise Richards without any makeup- but I was telling myself that it couldn't be her because this woman looks like she's going to pop a kid out at any second. It looked like she was seeing a movie with her mom- so there wasn't anyone who looked liked Charlie Sheen lurking besides her. I didn't want to say anything to her. because I was all grungy looking and hadn't shaved in days.

But now I see on the net that Denise Richards is six months pregnant. I'm sitting here telling myself holy shit- that must have been her. That ass of hers close up was magnificent, though.

See the connection?


My brother: You should have offered her some of your popcorn or Milk Duds.

Sigh. So it goes.

~

Coat
DO I LOOK HOT IN THIS CARTOON WALKIE-TALKIE?



I should do wonders for all the new Verizon or T-Mobile ad campaigns. Catherine Zeta-Jones can bite me. Not that I would mind. Posted by Hello

Query: Why is that people simply have to use the speaker on their cellphones in public places, such as the bus or subway? Do you really want strangers to hear what you did on your date last night? Do we really need a play by play broadcast of how you got your toes sucked or how got a mop full of Johnson's floor wax shoved so far up your rectum just to show how much shine your henie can really handle getting buffed? Are people really dying to know your business of how many orgasms you can fake while trying to chew off a hangnail with fake vampire teeth?

I'm not.

T-mobilization constitutes a act of war on the basis of the lack of social etiquette.

Get your ear off the fucking cellphone while you're driving you goddamn maniacs.

~

Coat

Monday, March 07, 2005

AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR....



In case anyone is wondering.. Here is my sponsor on the back of the new Deposit Man.. Posted by Hello

John Mitchell- the guitar player for Kino is from this band, as well as doing session work for John Wetton, and has another side outfit called the Urbane. I've met John a few times and we've hung together through arrangements made through my buddy from the land of down under, Matt Goodluck (it's no major feat: you just crash the hotel room of your favorite cult status band who can't afford a pot to piss in, who've somehow managed to get into this country by bribing their way with work visas that probably cost a bundle of 'payola' under the table and start singing the band's repertoire in a unusual off-key manner- rock bands are usually harmless- they know when you're equally as young, stupid, and drunk as they are. They'll take you under their wing and kick or nurture you around some- 'cause you know, they can't really afford anyone to beat the shit out of you for making an ass of yourself). John was like, just a wet-nosed kid when I last saw him- it's all so startling to see him reach this pinnacle of professional playing and holding his own musicially for the past eight years or so. At times, he is simply phenomenonal. Citing his influences, from David Gilmour to the Edge- I would say he's at the point where he can probably blow both of those snaggle-tooth dinosaurs away.

This is incredible stuff- even though by today's cultural standards- it would sound passe' if it had managed to get airplay on radio stations today.

Anyway, I was merely fucking around some more with the Hello and Picasa software that I installed today in my work computer, So from now on, if I show you pretty pictures, you'll know in the text what the fuck I'm talking about.

I've had a good relationship with Arena for quite some time. I've received a great number of comp copies of all the Verglas products due to my friendship with their one-time package designer, Matt Goodluck, who went on to help found the Insideout Music label which is now a haven for most progressive rock acts. When Matt left, keyboard player, Clive Nolan continued to send me stuff once in a while. So putting up an ad for them is reciprocal in some aspects (both are paid homage with a cameo appearance in my new book). I don't like this album as much as do their earlier efforts, The Visitor or Contagion- but it's certainly a step above Immortal? And just where did they get the title Pepper's Ghost anyway? Some told me on a message board that there is a similar concept read by Alan Moore on one of his spoken word recordings. Venture to say that the game's afoot, Dr. Nolan?

~

Coat
WALKING ON WASTED LAND- BUT WE MUST GO ON
The most magnificent album I've heard so far this year.... Posted by Hello

Of course, if anyone has any objections- please free to let me know. Radiohead and U2 will soon have plenty to fear...

But I doubt it.

Remember, the BEATLES once lead the British invasion..

These guys from Sweden.? well, let's just say they just ran off with the cannons.

ABBA, who?

~

Coat
I'M NOT YELLING, EVEN THOUGH THERE'S CONTINOUS REDNESS & SWELLING

I may have to suspend regular posting to this blog once again, now that my supervisors have informed me that we may have to resume our regimental 12 hour 'prison sentence' days again.

I'm not really happy about this. All this grueling OT is going to put aside projects that I want completed before the inevitable second wave was going to hit.

I knew that it was coming, but not this soon. I've barely had little more than a week to get the new Deposit Man book affairs in order and I was hoping for a weekend to wind down, maybe find some skanky stripper chick to go on a night on the town with, catch up to all the tv shows I missed(BTW, for the first time since its' debut, I missed taping an episode of Smallville 'cause my VCR Timer fucked up while I was at Oliver's house fixing up the last of the glitches on the new book), write some NEW material (getting time to finish that fucking BATMAN plot still eludes me), and see a few flicks (it's HORROR movie season again with The JACKET and the RING 2 both opening a week apart.). Like that old drill sarge that used to abuse you inside your head used to say: TOUGH SHIT OUT OF LUCK private. Such is the dream of freedom when clouded by mental incarceration. It's sort of like living the life of No 6 from the old sixties cult hit, The Prisoner. The illusion of getting back to some level of managable normalcy was withing my grasp.

With that being said, now that I'm metamophing back to a constrained butterfly- I'll probably rethink another sting like a bumblebee stragedy in what I'm going to do with all these hundred dollar bills exploding out of my ass besides putting it all on credit cards (I paid off and canceled a Capitol One card because they weren't giving me increases- so I said fuck 'em. A card isn't go to me, if it doesn't have a couple of thou to play with) and eating out pussy- For one: I need to advertise the DEPOSIT MAN in some comic book trade publications. Since Diamond has given me a round of bad luck in NOT distributing the book - it's time for the world to know that CARY COATNEY still exists in some capacity or another. So I think setting up a shopping cart over the internet is going to be the way to go. But I wonder if I can set it up through this blog? I'm sure Alan will have the answers. Second: I want to get back to playing keyboards on a regular basis. All my synths have been either sold or shot to shit through the discoarse of mighty rivers and earthquakes- so I've haven't been able to touch a new unit (hey, easy now!) in years. So one step in getting back to the grind is to subscribe to Keyboard Magazine, so I could bone up with what's going on in the market. Through my employee intranet- there's a section where I can order away to my heart's desire of all the TimeWarner magazine products. So I figure I need to PUT something in my mailbox besides the endless deluge of credit card offers and child porn. I'm contemplating adding Entertainment Weekly, Rolling Stone, and Hollywood Reporter (although that carries a hefty $200 price tag in itself).


At least there's always good shit to look forward to blow my OT wad on. This little fun prog platter takes priority:



the new supergroup: Trewavas, Maitland, Mitchell, and Beck go to the movies in Germany. Posted by Hello

Kino is John Mitchell (Arena) guitar and vocals, Pete Trewavas (Marillion & Transatlantic)on bass and vocals, Chris Maitland (ex-Porcupine Tree) drums and John Beck (It Bites) on keyboards and vocals.

It's the CHIC thing in prog: THE Supergroup. Something to take our minds off of the split up of Transatlantic, which was the last supergroup to exist just when ex-Spock's Beard vocalist leader, Neal Morse went off his noodle and decided a intoxication of too much Jesus Juice and wafers was the only path for him to take This left poor Pete Trewavas with too much spare time on his hands. So he's got to do something right? A Supergroup to take the place of another supergroup seemed the logical choice- so we now have Kino, which is what they call Cinemas out in Germany. Who knows on how they decided on this moniker, perphaps because the record company, Inside Out has some nudge-nudge influence?

Anyway, it's fun stuff, very intricate and percussive playing - the fourth track, Swimming in Woman, is the best track about getting too much trim that any single guy could ever hum along with.

Alan Sinder will be making some contributions in the weeks ahead. He'll have a word or two about some T.H.U.N.D.E.R Agents shenanigans and hopefully will be posting some new Deposit Man goodies.

~

Coat